”People are afraid of themselves,of their own reality;their feelings most of all.People talk about how great love is,but that’s bullshit.Love hurts.Feelings are disturbing.People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous.How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up.People try to hide their pain.But they’re wrong.Pain is something to carry,like a radio.You feel your strength in the experience of pain.It’s all in how you carry it.That’s what matters. Pain is an feeling.Your feelings are a part of you.Your own reality.If you feel ashamed of them,and hide them,you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”
And it seems like the world just keeps on going,regardless. I want to climb up on the rooftops of the universe and shout and scream into eternity ”MY MOM IS DEAD,MY MOM IS DEAD,MY MOM IS DEAD….” I want the world to know.I want the world to understand. I want people to look at me differently,I want people to talk to me differently,I want the girl at the checkout in the supermarket who I’ve never met before and may never meet again, to ask me how I am. I want to tell every single person I come in however brief contact with every single day, I want to tell them the awful,horrible,tragic thing thats happened to me. And I don’t just want to tell them how I’m feeling,I also want them to actually care. But they don’t care,really. Because thats life and thats the world…it just keeps on rolling,no matter what, it doesnt stop for anyone or anything. I loved…Iove…my Mom so,so,so much…
I want people to know something else,too,I want them to know that Mom’s life was about more than depression,that awful,horrible malady that gnawed at her life until there was nothing more left to gnaw.
World,I love her. And I wonder now did she know how much,because I didn’t get a chance to tell her just how very much I loved her and just how very much I valued her.I didnt get that chance.But to all the people out there who are lucky enough to still have their Mum’s and their Dad’s,too…you have that chance.Take it. You may not get another.